Third time is the charm...

I have always attempted one of these things, these web logs... or blogs. The blogging idea appeals and baffles me all at the same time. However, I keep having ideas for blogs and never seem to write them anywhere, they then slip out of my mind and get lost forever. Even if nobody reads this, at least I am giving some sort of concrete, albeit digital form to my thoughts. I feel like I should introduce myself but at the same time is that really how a blog works? Honestly I don't know. I guess I can explain things that are pertinent to the blog itself.

First, I am a student. I love being a student, and will probably be one for at least the next five years. I am an English Literature major with a minor in Women's studies. I have delusions of going to a Graduate School to study Medieval Literature and eventually earning my PhD and teaching in some capacity.

I am married and in my twenties. Yes, I realize I am "awfully young" to be married. Yes, I realize I have my whole life ahead of me and I don't need to have planned out the next five years. Yes, I realize it will be hard to "have a family" with my goals in place. Oh, and by "I realize," I mean I know this is what people tend to think, but in the end I do not care about following these old dictates, rules, or expectations. How horribly cliche of me...

I am square as... well... a square, in that I do study, spend hours on my homework, don't party, don't smoke, don't drink (though I did at one time), own over two-hundred books and counting, have read a large chunk of those, sip tea out of a little blue teacup, and enjoy, I mean truly enjoy my studies. I also wear cardigans, argyle, glasses (complete with glasses chain... sometimes), and my fashion sense has been compared to that of an eighty year-old woman. Thanks to the friend who told me that, it made me feel really sexy. Or not.

No, these things are not because I am part of some strict religious sect, or because I have no social life (though I tend not to anyway, try as I might to drag friends into my cave-like apartment). These things happen because I care deeply about my family, my studies, and my health. I did not used to care so much for my health, this is a more recent development.

Okay, so, now that I seem to have successfully fulfilled the narcissistic element of this blog I can write on a recent experience that has been floating in my mind.

Yesterday I went to an event on campus. Noemi Ban spoke. For those of you who do not know Mrs. Ban's story I would highly recommend looking her up on the internet or reading her book, "Sharing is Healing: A Holocaust Survivor's Story" Of course that title is slightly explanatory, in that you now know she is a holocaust survivor. Her story was incredibly moving. However, it did not feel contrived, cliche, or forced. Rather it seemed to be sincere and truly hard for her to tell. There were points where she explained that her vivid memory made it hard for her to go on. At one point she was telling us how her and some other prisoners refused water because the guards said that they were like animals when they drank it. She became very dehydrated, along with her fellow prisoners. As she was retelling this to us she informed us it made her begin to feel very thirsty. She then drank a glass of water and told us it was one of her greatest pleasures in life. There are times we can't get our people to drink a single glass of water because they want soda or juice, and here is this women taking joy in the simplicity of a single glass of water. However, she only learned the joy of this simple gift once she was deprived of it. Maybe, as brutal as it is, that is the best way humans lean, through depravation. That is a fairly pessimistic viewpoint, but I am not suggesting we deprive others of things to get them to "wakeup." It is simply an observation, that through loss comes epiphany.

Mrs. Ban went on to finish her story, which was tragic and yet triumphant and then to give us her reasons for not holding hate or the idea of revenge in her heart. Her reasons were as follows:

1: Hate destroys everyone. If she had hate in her heart she would not be free and Hitler (or others like him, with hate in their hearts) would still be winning.

2: There is victory in living her life. One of the most heartwarming quotes of the night was when Mrs. Ban said, "I feel victory because Hitler is head and I am alive and my family is growing."

In the end, Mrs. Ban was sharing her story for healing purposes. She said that when we share horrible events we help heal not only ourselves but those who listen. She said listening to her story could heal hate and ideas of revenge in our own hearts. So thank you Mrs. Ban for sharing your story and allowing us to hear your 87 year old wisdom.

Hopefully I will post again soon.